I've always been a nostalgic person; always self reflecting and transforming. This blog as been a vehicle of expression in many ways over the years, and while you'd think that this little story of mine would inevitably end (being that parent hood is so damn occupying), and I would pack in the blogging experience in exchange for a more reserved method of expression, I haven't.
I haven't given up on this space, I simply can't.
Inevitably there's a curtain call for every great story, I know this, but what most tend to forget is that with every great story comes a moral ending; a point in which the story concludes with a purpose in it's message.
Maybe this blog is just a never-ending quest for my moral; the purpose of my journey.
Most would argue that looking back to our past is a hinder to our souls; that the regression and reminiscing of one's life can result in too much "living in the past" and not enough present living. I have to disagree.
The past is experience; and experience (all of the good, bad, laughter and tears) is what our soul takes on in order to find a higher purpose. It's how we grow and learn, so why would anyone want to forget such a thing?
When I first came to this blog I was practically a child in the spectrum of things; freshly graduated from college, moving to Alberta with my boyfriend of (then) 6 years, and starting a new chapter of my life. I was young, naïve and green. Since those early blogging days, I have aged. I've lived in many places, met many people, worked many jobs and conquered many challenges. I've grown almost entirely in sync with my (now) 12 year spouse, had a baby, and I'm now about to embark on a different, completely new chapter of my life; one that will pose it's own challenges but be ever so beautiful in it's own right.
Scott and I just purchased our first home; a hobby farm property near woods, lakes, away from the buzz of the city (that I couldn't bare leaving Alberta for) and surrounded by an environment that is much more reflective of where my heart currently resides. It's place where we can both rightfully settle and grow together and as a family.
Now that my life is whirling toward a new chapter (as it's been tending to do A LOT the past couple years) my mind has been wandering back to the mountains. I go back to my memories as if part of me is trapped in that valley somehow. Sounds silly right? I search and search, and question what it is that I keep going back there for. I search the faces, conversations, music, and secret places that felt so sacred to me. Part of me was starting to grow melancholy about these reflections because it was such a pivotal part of my life that I am only realizing the entirety of it now.
The people that I crossed paths with back in Canmore, taught me that nothing in this life happens by chance. Our lives all danced together, even if it were for only a short couple of years, and we gave and took so much from one another. So many lessons of moving on, finding our purpose and gaining ground. It was a transformational period for many of us. I think I emotionally go back there for so many reasons, but the biggest one is self reflection, especially at a time when things are changing so much, it's hard not to look back and measure the growth. It's a beautiful but bitter-sweet thing.
Once again I have managed to write a post with no writing structure what so ever, but hey, that's the art of self expression. I have a lot on my mind these days, and while I may not express all of it on here, you can expect to still get pieces of my world here. I have become somewhat attached to this blog, like a dear old friend, and when I don't feel like sharing to anyone in particular, that is when this space comes in handy. It's for my own growth, and it's also for the eyes that may take something small from it; a story, a moral, a purpose.